I’ve been wounded…the attack is on me

Taken from here

Taken from here

In the very first post on this blog, I mentioned that high school was a “colossal titan” that came and destroyed my “walls.” As the school year is coming to an end, I’ve finally come to adapt to high school life. It’s pretty annoying how things always end as soon as you’ve gotten used to them. It’s like how you get used to your age right when your birthday is about to come. Then, you have to learn to get comfortable with saying that number when asked your age. When you’ve gotten the hang of saying the new number when somebody asks “How old are you?,” it’s already nearing the time to add another year to that number.

Anyway, back to school and getting used to the…interesting..environment. (The word “interesting” was used because there are so many different sights to see-couples that make out as if it were their last day on Earth together, weird-cool people, cool-weird people, etc.) High school. In movies, you always see dramatized versions about it, which provides a very misleading and somewhat intimidating image of it when you transition from middle school into 9th grade. Obviously, high school wouldn’t be that fun and full of drama because movies/tv shows always add extra crap to make it more enjoyable to watch. The only reason why most movies or shows about high school are interesting is because of the petty conflict among self absorbed teenagers, right? I wasn’t intimidated by high school because of the possibilities of drama and whatnot, but because it’s a significant transition from being a kid with barely any responsibilities to an adult. You enter as a kid and emerge as a young adult. There’s always that overwhelming pressure to do well in order to get into a good college and eventually get a high paying job. Everything counts, and if you mess up one single thing, then you’re going to flip hamburger patties at McDonald’s or work at Walmart and witness some of the most incredible sights. Ok, that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but it sure does feel that way sometimes. How well I do in high school determines my future. If I don’t get good grades, then I’m a failure, and I’ll be homeless. Why is math such a difficult language to understand? (I view math as a language because numbers are symbols, and symbols are letters, and you can arrange numbers in various ways to calculate stuff and whatnot. Like numbers, letters are also arranged in various ways to mean something.) Why did I hate taking naps when I was younger? I never get enough sleep nowadays. Those are some of the thoughts that I had on a daily basis, and I still have them from time to time. I’m pretty sure every student has these thoughts as well. I always overthink though, which only wastes your time and makes you feel even worse. Instead, I’ve learned to take things easy and that I’ll be able to manage.

The struggle Taken from here Source

The struggle
Taken from here
Source

When you have to wake up for school Taken from here

When you have to wake up for school
Taken from here

After all, I thought I’d go through high school hating it with a passion, but I’ve learned to somewhat like it? Actually, it just grew on me, and I learned to tolerate school. Like the saying goes “If you can’t beat them, join them.” I’ve decided to take the titans’ side because they succeeded in breaking my walls. It’s not like I can avoid my future or skip school without getting caught, so I might as well “attack” school with a somewhat open mind.

4 thoughts on “I’ve been wounded…the attack is on me

    1. Titan shifting is the ability to turn into a titan. In this case, school represents the titans. I didn’t turn into a school or become a staff member of the school, therefore, I’m not a titan shifter. I’m still the same, and the only thing that’s changed is my perspective. I’d rather have an open attitude towards school though because it feels better to tolerate something rather than have negative feelings toward it all the time. That’s why I’m taking the “titans’ side.” I can see where you’re coming from with how my change in attitude towards school could symbolize me turning into a titan because I might now consider myself a part of the school. However, I don’t really consider myself a part of the school because I don’t wholeheartedly care about it that much. I’d say being a titan shifter is if I proudly proclaimed myself to be a B4L, was excited to go to school because friends are there, and if I was all about school spirit. Also, from the way I was going about it, I thought of school as the titans and students as their own portions of the last of humanity because only some cultures would stand the test of time if mankind was ever on the verge of extinction. Because only some cultures would be left in that portion of humanity, it’s sort of like how each student has their own characteristics out of a variety of traits. I’m tolerating school because I don’t really have much to do in my life other than schoolwork and surfing the internet. Technically, me taking the “titans’ side” is just me accepting the fact that high school isn’t complete hell, and that it’s something to kill time with. Oh boy, I feel another existential crisis attack coming :/

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